A Rose by any other name would smell as Sweet.

“A rose by any of name would smell as sweet.” Even if he is Charlie Hustle. What is the construction of a great nickname? What is at the heart of a truly “Great One”? No I don’t mean Wayne Gretzky, although if we are starting with “Legends”, how about Larry Bird? I mean the “Hick from French Lick” was so good that he has two? In both those cases the players were great but the nick names were just very good. I’d like to develop a list of my top five nicknames of all time. Before I do, I would like to give an acknowledgement to the group that started this discussion for me. Lindros, Leclair, Renburg, were truly as their name suggested, Philadelphia’s Legion of Doom. Hockey has had a it’s share of creative line nicknames, Colourful names like The Rocket, Mr. Hockey, The Flower, Little Beaver, The Chief, The Screamin’ Scotsman, The Big Train, Grapes, The Road Runner, The Tazmanian Devil , The Grim Reaper, Killer, The Rat, The Magnificent, The Moose, Mr. Zero, Stevie Wonder, Boom Boom, Tiger, The Hammer and if you didn’t have a nickname it seems like we called you Red, there are about 10 guys named after that colour. We even nicknamed you if you sucked ala Andre “Red Light” Racicot. Units were nicknamed, The Kid Line, The Brat Line, The Century Line, The Hound Line, The BBC, The Russian Five, The West Coat Express, The Punch line, The Production Line were some of the tag given to dominate or feisty units over the years. Now we’ve got a league full of Y’s, S’s and ER’s. Healtey becomes Heats, instead of a creative play on the name like, The Fireman, or The Inferno, although he does play on the CASH line with two other brutal tags, Alfy, and Spezs. Instead of being the Calgary Cannon, Al McInnis was just Al. But I digress, this wasn’t supposed to be a rant on a how bad nick names had gotten, nor do I want to pick square on hockey. As we have seen all sports have gone down hill in this respect. The coach gets on the bullpen phone he is now call Timlin, Ryan, Papelbon, Rivera, Wood, he isn’t calling for The Mad Hungarian, The Nasty Boys, the Dragon slayer, Oil Can or the Octopus. But what makes a nick name truly great? Is it, its origin? Like the day child hood friend Bobby Hoffman, that his buddy Lawrence looked like a Hindu Holy Man he’d seen recently in a movie. On that day, Yogi Berra was born; one of the most recognized nicknames in all of sport. Or The Babe, another name so entrenched in our popular culture you never here anyone refer to him as George. Football tends to be known for its units, The Orange Crush, the Steel Curtan, The Purple People Eaters, The Electric company. And in basketball the kiss of death for nick names is when they start, “The Big…” cause it can only go down hill after that. Kobe is the Mamba, Lebron is King James, but real great nicknames sound like The Glove, The Rash, and The Answer. But a great nickname is more about more than it’s popularity, or creativity, it is the nicknames ability to capture essence. I mean Paul Pierce is The Truth. First of all I am pretty sure he gave that to himself, which automatically disqualifies it from consideration, but number two, The Truth about what? I mean at first glance it seems like a great tag, but really it make absolutely no sense what so ever. As I’ve researched, debated and argued, there are many nicknames that have tried to climb there way to the top of my nickname Olympus. But for me 5 stand alone in the world of second Baptization, the Hall of Designation, in the Pantheon of Nickname.

5. The Wizard – Every time Ozzie came to the ballpark you expected magic. In a world where Hall of Fame worth is measured by 500 homeruns, 3000 hits, 300 wins, 3000 strike outs, Ozzie turned in his own resume 580 stolen bases, but more importantly 621 assists more than any shortstop, and 13 consecutive gold gloves.

4. Prime Time – Maybe the most colourful athlete in the history of Football. But it wasn’t just about flash and flair he delivered. Drafted in 1988 by the Yankees, and 1989 by the Falcons, he became the first man to hit a MLB Home Run and score an NFL Touchdown in the same week. In 1992 he led the National League in triples with 14. With there was something that could be done to get you out of your seat, Deion was doing it, 558 base hits, 154 for extra bases, 53 Int and 10 of them returned for TD’s, but unlike the ability to stop throwing at Deion, you had to kick to him, 9 combined TD’s on punt and kickoff returns. Imagine if coaches had let him return kicks his entire career instead worrying he’d get hurt?

3. The Dominator – People will tell you Gretzky was the greatest ever. But I have never in my life seen a player single handedly dominate the game like Hasek. At the Nagano Olympics he single handedly sent hockey’s version of the Dream Team home while carrying the Czech’s to a gold medal. He didn’t get his first NHL start until he was 25, and didn’t get his first starting job in the NHL until he was 28. Yet still he ranks first for starts by a European Goalie, 6th all time in shut outs, 10 in all time wins, 8th in all time lowest GAA. Two Harts, with Five Nominations, that’s like a pitcher winning the MVP and the Cy Young. It simply doesn’t happen, but he was simply that good. Six Vezina Trophy’s for best goalie, and was named Czech Hockey player on the 20th Century.

2. Sweetness – It just rolls off the tongue. Was it hard and tough, it was when it had to be. Was it finesse? He could deliver that too. But when it all was said and done. He had rushed for more yards than anyone else in NFL history. He was speed, agility and power. Poetry in Motion was the order of the day when Walter Payton. His Motto was never Die Easy. There is certainly a wake of NFL defenders what would agree the Sweetness lived up to that year after year.

1. Magic – He simply was. A 6’9 Guard from Michigan he lead his home town, home state Spartans to an NCAA time in 1979 and never looked back. He won 5 titles, played in 9 Finals series, was the NBA and Finals MVP 3 times each. Over 17,000 points and 10,000 assists in his career speak to his ability to score and involve team mates without a second though. But if I was to sum up Magic it came in the 1979-80 trailing 3-2 in the finals and headed to Philadelphia the Lakers were going to be without their all star center. Kareem had gone down with sprained ankle. Westhead decided to move Johnson a guard to the center position. In an elimination game he came up with performance that totaled 42 points, 15 rebounds, 7 assists, 3 steals. That in a word my friend is pure Magic.(Honorable Mention: Charlie Hustle, The Say Hey Kid, The Galloping Ghost, The Mailman, The Straw the Stirs the Drink, Mr. October, The Kid.)
Am I right? Am I wrong? Let me know, post your top five, tell me what you think....