The A's On Top Again Out West?! Looks Like

Alright so I did it. I finally broke down and tried to figure out what all the fuss was about. Boy was I surprised as my first little stats experiment. I mean I am not Dr. Frankenstein. But who is? Well, Bill James I guess.



Who is this Bill James guy and what can he tell me that I didn’t already know as it relates to building the perfect beast, or starting line up anyways.


Well, I am sure there is more to life than simple (or complicated) math, he did give me one very interesting set of stats.

We now know them as runs created. Now why does that matter? Well I’ll tell you why, because with that stat I am going to prove why the Oakland A’s are going to be your American League West Champions.

Let’s not start there though. Lets look at the reasons people are going to tell me that there is simply no way that the A’s can pulls this off.

I mean the Angels were the only team to win 100 games in 2008. The A’s on the other hand managed a measly 75 wins, one less than their counter parts in Texas. Good for 3rd in a very sad division if I do say so myself.

So where do I see the A’s making up a 25 game difference in 2009?

I feel like to compare the Oakland A’s to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (I still can’t say that five times fast.) We have to look at pitching and offense. Could we compare defense? Sure we could, but is a long and drawn out process and here is what I know. The Angels will look a lot the same, there biggest question, is can Kendry Morales give you the same solid defensive presence at first that you got from both Casey Kotchman and Mark Teixera. I don’t think he can, and if people think that a gold glove firs basemen is worth his weight in…well gold I’d say take a look at Steve Garvey. Start by searching, 193 game errorless streak, it will help.

It’s not accident that the players around Garvey were also picking up gold gloves when he was on the bag. Now in Anaheim you are asking a relative unknown to fill the place of a 2 time gold glove infielder.

The A’s on the other hand, to be honest aren’t exactly known for their ability to “go get it”. But they’ll have Travis Buck and Ryan Sweeney in an improved outfield and a perennial gold glove winner in Eric Chavez back at the hot corner after two injury plagued seasons.

Are they equal? Not by any stretch, but I think that the A’s are going to be better defensively, while the Angels are going to do well to maintain there lofty status as a good defensive team.

Let’s look at pitching for a minute. Clearly the Angels have the advantage here with names like Lackey, Weaver, Saunders, or at least that’s what you would be led to believe. But here is where my research takes an interesting turn. Running the Angels starting rotation, top 5 bullpen options and closer, vs the A’s through a formula for Fielding Independent ERA, you find out something very interesting.
For all the names the Angels have when you look at a homeruns allowed, walks, hit by pitch, strikeouts and innings pitched they are not any better than what the A’s are going to trot out there this season.

Now I did this research based on last years pitching numbers, and that being said the A’s pitchers only combined for 778 2/3 vs the 1005 logged by the Angels.

But as innings pitched is the divisor in the equation it should adjust the stats accordingly. So I am not simply interested in the fact that the A’s gave up a mere fraction or 54% of the Angels home run total while logging 77% of the innings. Although interesting the Fielding Independent ERA for both squads show us that the A’s pitching staff is better by 0.34 runs per game. Not much you say, I agree. Not much indeed, and if Kendry Morales can contribute the defense of a Mark Teixera maybe it’s even a wash when we go fielder by fielder.

Then let’s say it is, and flip to the other side of the coin. We know that Billy Beane’s obsession began with finding out how to create as many runs as possible. Beane became famous for paying for attributes which he deemed “valuable” and passing on players that had other gifts that traditionalist saw “value” in, but that Beane saw as irrelevant. He also says how these irrelevant skills drove the price of a player up. He wasn’t looking for five tool players. He was looking for players with one tool, and the less of the other ones they had the better. It allowed him to compete for less.




Well he has done it again. Billy Beane is looking at a number of things but at the end of the day, he’s looking at Runs Created. We can debate whether it works or not all day, but the fact of the matter is, his teams have made five playoff appearances since 2000.

More importantly what do the numbers of this years team say? Well it says the A’s will score 816 runs or about 170 more than a year ago. That 816 would’ve been the 5th highest in the major leagues last year. What about the Angels? Glad you asked, their Total runs created is 738. Or about 25 less runs than a year ago. Kind of looks like the loss of production of an All-star first basemen to me. People can talk about adding Abreu, but you also must factor in for the loss of a very productive Garrett Anderson.

I will preface that the above numbers are based on players 162 game major league averages, so it does not account for the decline of certain players like Abreu, Vladdy, or Giambi, or the increase in productivity from the likes of a Napoli or Matt Holliday over there averages so far.

But if distribution is equal, by my estimates anyways, the A’s are ripe to take back the West, and pull off what many would consider a huge upset.

You heard it here first….

Extra Extra Yankees Tied Directly to Economic Fallout (Irony, Satire, please don't take seriously)

It’s a recession.

The Yankees haven’t won a World Series in nine years. I mean, if that isn’t a recession, I don’t know what is.

Stay with me for a minute. I know the problems of the economy are very real. I understand there is no joke about people losing their homes or there jobs. But sports are our escape from all of that, aren't they?



But then I got to thinking, then I got to reading. That’s right, despite what you may think, I can read, and occasionally I do think before opening my mouth. I often don't do both, so this is special.

Quick background, the Dow Jones Industrial Average opened on May 26, 1896 with a score of 40.94.



From there it took until 1972 to hit 1000 points. But the scores I am interested in, follow the strike in 1994. So, just previous to the 1995 season, Feb. 23, 1995 to be exact, the DJI hit 4000.

It was in 1995 that the Yankees began a spending spree that, by 2007, had accounted for over $1.6 billion in pay roll. But let’s break it down shall we.

Find TicketsPowered by FanSnap.comThe index began its unprecedented climb. In the first four years, the New York Payroll was No. 1 in the majors only twice, but it did jump from $47 million to $63 million according to USA Today.

So what does that have to do with anything? I mean, tell us something you we didn’t know? Oh, how about the fact that, while the Yankees were on this run of consecutive post seasons the Dow Jones Industrial also pushed its way into uncharted territory.

The Yankees 13 straight playoff appearances are second all-time only to the Braves. But in the grand scheme of things, the Yankees appear to affect or mirror the economy. Atlanta, although a nice city, doesn’t have the same influence over the economy as Wall Street.

So, as the Yank’s were slam-dunking four rings, 13 straight playoff appearances, and repeatedly cracking the $200 million mark, Wall St. was climbing, and climbing. All the way up to 14,100 points it went.



So as Jeter and co. were setting Yankee records, the DJI was setting financial records. Why does this matter?

Well I just find it intriguing that the years the Yankees streak stopped are also the years the Dow Jones and the economy went in the tank.

Follow me from 1995 to 2000 when the Yankees rattled off four World Series Titles, the industrial average jumped from 4,000 to 11,700. Pretty unreal if you ask me, a 7,700 point jump is unprecedented—between 2000 and 2004 it barely moved. You think that has anything to do with the economy knowing the Bronx Bombers were about to cough up a 3-0 lead? I think so. Although continuing to make the playoffs, the Industrial was not as robust as in its growth.

Then the Yankees did the unthinkable, they missed the playoffs, and in that same year the average collapsed. Not only did it collapse, but it went into a free fall around Oct. 1. The same Oct. 1 that saw Jeter, Jorge, and Petite clean out their locker early in pin stripes for the first time.

Now this all looks a little suspicious with the Industrial Average at about 7,800 after the collapse of 2008.

The government was scrambling and they dreamt up a bailout package, as did Cashman and the Steinbrenners. So far the US government has spent approximately $1.5 trillion on a bailout since October. While the Yankees, in their version of a bailout package, have dedicated approximately a $.5 billion to contracts for C.C., AJ, and Tex to keep themselves “a float.”

This conspiracy may be bigger than steroids, greenies, HGH, Pete Rose, and the Black Sox Scandal all together.

But then again, there are no such things as conspiracies right?

Boston Bruins' Future Looks as Bright as the Past

It’s funny you know, how history repeats itself.

I was just listening to the local Toronto alternative rock station and they had an interview with Justin Pogge.

You know, the same Justin Pogge the Leafs decided to keep.

You know, the reason that we Bruins fans are now so excited about Tuukka Rask and not Justin Pogge. (Boston requested either/or in the Andrew Raycroft trade.)

I only mention this because one of the on air personalities referred to how skinny Pogge was, at 6'3" and 190 pounds. His counterpart more directly said, “Yeah we’ve got to get you on that Tim Thomas diet.”

Now normally this banter would’ve only mildly amused, but Pogge's response started a snowball of thoughts in my head that I just had to get out. His answer, “Yeah, that guy is like a Ninja Turtle.”

Now first, what the heck does an off-the-cuff comedic statement about a 22-year old AHL goalie and a Saturday morning kids cartoon that ran from 1986 through 1996 have to do with the Bruins starting netminder? Other than the obvious parallels like when Thomas spins on his back, I could occasionally mistake him for Michelangelo?

Well, I got to thinking—I know, a dangerous process in and of itself.

Let’s start here: How good were those Bruins teams from ’86 to ’96?

Well in the '86-87 season Bruins lost in the first round of the playoffs. Not surprising as we tend to do that a lot. But the following year we marched all the way to the Finals.

That run to the Finals started a series of the most beloved and heart breaking Bruins teams in memory. We against lost in the Finals in 1990. We managed heart breaking loses in the conference finals in 1989, 1991 and 1992. Every year from 1986 to 1996 we made the playoffs, and on six separate occasions managed to go more than one round.

So what am I saying? Bring back the Ninja Turtles? Well they did, in 2003 and are currently working on there seventh season, so that’s not the answer.

But let’s look at Tim Thomas and throw him into the “which NHL player does he remind you of” machine? Could it be the dough-shaped Andy Moog? Let me explain.

Moog wasn’t pretty, he just won. He split starts for most of career, he was too short, too fat, and at the end of the day for all the complaints he was a winner. He was a starting goalie in the NHL and lost his job to the flashy first-round pick Grant Fuhr.

Although not quite the journeyman that Thomas was, Moog was in Edmonton for three Stanley Cups. In those three years he played, 38, 39 and 46 games. He put together a record of 77-28-7 over that span.

Over 47 games in the 1985-1986 season, he was 27-9-7. So in those four years, his winning percentage was 0.675, and by 1987-1988 he found himself on the Canadian National Team. He played 31 games, then headed back to the NHL to split starts with Reggie Lemelin.

Is this the same story as Tim Thomas’ journey through Europe, the AHL, IHL and ECHL? No, but I hope you are getting some of the parallels of disrespect.

Has Thomas carried us to the Promised Land yet? Unfortunately not, but under the steerage of Moog we saw three conference finals, and two Cup finals. Thomas sure looks like he has that kind performance in him.

Lets again get in the way back machine for a minute. Wasn’t our first line during those years a tough, rugged goal scorer and a savvy, play-making center? We’ve all heard the Lucic and Cam Neely comparisons. But what about Marc Savard and his doppelganger—his ghost from the past, if you will?

It doesn’t take too long to look into those teams and find one of the greatest assist men of all time. I present to you Adam Oates—1420 career points, 1079 of them assists. Before Oates it was Craig Janney having 100-plus-point seasons feeding the puck on to the tape of the goal scoring monster.

If this is true, then Chara must be Raymond Bourque, a power-play quarterback that longs an inhuman amount of minutes every night. Again, do they play exactly the same way? No, but both today’s Norris Candidate and the multiple Norris winner of yesteryear (all 5 were won between the years 1986 and 1996) do fill the same need for a stud anchoring the blue.

It’s also strikingly similar the balance of talent behind the big men. Hagwood, Wesley, and Galley managed to put in 38, 36, 35 points respectively from the back end. This year's version boasts Wideman, Hunwick, and—although hurt for most of the season so far—Andrew Ference supplying secondary firepower from the back end.

Then again, how far is Shawn Thornton from being Lyndon Byers?

So what am I saying? Well guys, what I am saying is just like Turtle soup, there is a recipe for success, and I think that Chef Chiarelli has put the right ingredients in the pot.

Now let's see if they can cook up something worthy of being served from Lord Stanley’s Mug.

That would be pretty radical, if I do say so myself!

I Want The Truth! But Can We Handle the Truth?

Usually I’d take as much joy and pleasure as anyone in watching the dismantling of that smug look off of A-Rod’s face. Unfortunately for me today there lies out there a bigger question. Why is it just A-Rod taking the fall and is what he did so bad in the grand scheme of things? I mean the lying to cover it up is, but let’s just talk about the steroid issue.

A-Rod is taking a lot of heat, but he’s not alone. There are 104 names on that list. I want to know who they are. They all submitted samples that were to be used to determine how deeply the problem of steroids in baseball went. It wasn’t supposed to be for disciplinary reasons. Well considering how hard Alex is about to be /is currently being judged in the court of public opinion I want answers, not just from Alex, from the other 103 as well.

Since my faith that we could see the home run record be broken by someone not on drugs has ultimately been shattered, I’ve got to know. I’ve got to know if Albert Pujols is on that list. I’ve got to know if Ken Griffey Jr. ever tested positive. I want to see if I need to start turning a blind eye to the accomplishments of Manny Ramirez. Or at least reconsider how I frame him in the all time discussion, good or bad.

I can no longer sit back and defend the players I love based on the fact that I love them. I hated A-Rod the Yankee; I hated him because he was better than any player I had ever seen. I hated him for all the right reasons. He plays for the Yankees and he was unbelievably talented. But if you thought for one second I wasn’t going stand up and applaud when he broke the homerun record your fooling yourself. I sat in my chair one night and discussed with a friend of mine whether we thought Alex could get to 800 homeruns or not.

That’s right 800 pause and think about it for a minute. As it sits today Alex is at 553 homeruns. Oh and he is only 32 years old. So now the joy of both him surpassing a tainted 762 and the day of possibly hitting number 800 should be thrown into question. Then I started to wonder, who was “clean” and do I care?

Cause with the drugs Alex was better than anyone I’d ever seen. Then again isn’t that the case to be made for the previous record holder too? I mean we all know the case against Barry, lets talk Hank, let us just see how deep the rabbit hole goes.

But what’s makes the record legitimately Aaron’s? I mean didn’t he partake in performance enhancing drugs. On page 268 of his on his own autobiography, “I had the Hammer: The Hank Aaron Story” he admits to trying Greenies.

“The 500thhome run came against Mike McCormick of the Giants, which meant that Willie Mays was on the field at the time. Willie elected not to have his picture taken with me that day, saying it wasn’t appropriate for him to fraternize with a player whose team had just beaten the Giants. For years Willie had been king and I’m sure that he wasn’t crazy about me elbowing into his territory. Most fans and critics still considered Willie to be a better player than me. It seems like the only ones who took up my cause were my team mates. Guys like Uecker and Boyer used to argue with the visiting writers who didn’t think I belonged in the class with Mays. It made me feel a little awkward to sit by my locker and hear them going on like that, but don’t think I didn’t appreciate it. [new paragraph begins] Actually, the 1968 season wasn’t the best time to present my case. It was the first time since my rookie year that I didn’t drive in or score 100 runs. I was so frustrated that at one point I tried using a pep pill—a greenie—that one of my teammates gave me. When that thing took hold, I thought I was having a heart attack. It was a stupid thing to do…”



Now why in the world would I drag that up you ask? Well that goes hand in with some interesting information printed by Dr. Bennett Foddy, PH D. and holder of the Harold T. Shapiro Fellowship in Bioethics at Princeton University’s Center for Human Values. He makes a very compelling case for why Greenies would have been performance enhancing drugs.

“What this example shows is that baseball is a sport in which the usual set of performance enhancements is ill-suited to enhancing player’s number. The core skills of baseball- pitching, catching and hitting – are not best enhanced by drugs that make a player stronger or faster. The strongest player can still miss the ball or hit it straight up in the air.
In fact baseball – like golf, cricket, or archery – is a quintessentially brain-centered sport. The most important weapons any player has are in his brain: the speed of his reflexes, his spatial processing, his vision and his fine tuned muscle memory. In the case of baseball, only the ball needs to go faster, higher and longer.” Pg. 77-78, Your Brain on Cubs.

Then later on Foddy sites specific examples of the effects of amphetamines specifically on baseball players.

“Amphetamines produce little or no enhancement in reaction time but significantly reduce the effect of fatigue on a person’s ability to track a moving object such as a ball. Dextroamphetamine, an amphetamine variant this is popular as a recreational drug, improves decision-making and reduces impulsivity in healthy human beings, which would be an effective enhancement for batters that tended to swing at balls outside of the strike zone.” Pg. 79 Your Brain on Cubs.

So what if Hammerin’ Hank was getting better pitches to hit, not because of keen eye, but because he was drug enhanced? Is 755 really a legitimate number? Is that really the record?

This is just another witch hunt through the grand old game, if we are going to continue with this non-sense. I am sick of half truths and half information. We’ve all seen the game soiled enough. Can we just flush out all the non-sense so I don’t have to endure another Jose Canseco book?

I want to truth, Bud, WE CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH!! The game needs it, and its fan I need it, cause to be honest, I want to say I am comfortable with them all being cheaters, but I’m not.

***special thanks for Bennett Foddy for the quotes from Dan Gordon’s, “Your Brain on Cubs.”

Thou Shalt Not Steal!.....LeBron(If that is your Real Name?)

You shall not steal. Seems pretty simply doesn't it?

Luckily in an attempt to make this a non-religion specific piece I did a little homework. I found out that whether you’re Jewish, Roman Catholic, Protestant Christian, Orthodox, or Islamic somewhere roughly around your 7th or 8th commandment it’s in there, a line that says not to take other people’s stuff.

Now let me be straight with you, I didn’t read Exodus, Deuteronomy for the Ten Commandments. I didn’t attempt to learn Hebrew to read the Ten Statements of Judaism or delve neck deep into Al-Mumtahanah 60: 12 to get the exact wording of the Islamic faith when it comes to there position on stealing.

But I did do a little digging to find out what I could. If I have misrepresented someones beliefs I apologize I just thought that, well you know for everyones differences, this is one area we could find some common ground on for a minute or two.

Now why does this matter you ask? Why is it that The Captain needs the support of so many that he has tried to reach out across these lines to bring us together for one goal, one cause?

No I am not working on world peace. Although I am pretty cocky, heck even a little bit arrogant, I am going to leave that to the experts. (so called. Although if this piece goes well who knows where I’ll go next.)

No, I’ve done this because HE must stopped, he of the superstar status so large that I, one man can’t take him on myself. I know, I know what you’re saying, if the Captain can’t stop him what chance do I have? Individually, none. But collectively that’s why we must band together. For a common purpose, a common theme.

This is my open letter to the world, and I emplore you to support me in what I see as blatant disregard for the simple rules, and standards that you and I live by each day. So hear goes.

To: All those affect or offended,

I ask that you respond by signing below with your thoughts, feelings, or comments on the situation in question.

Before I go too far, I feel that we are partially responsible for leading him in the wrong direction. I feel that it is partially our fault that he has been allowed to think his behaviour is acceptable. First I blame the NBA. I blame them for having a statistical category called Steals. I feel that they as well as baseball should reconsider naming it something less offensive to the community at large. (Borrows might be better term. I mean he is going to give it back, and Rickey Henderson was only on that base temporarily.)

He has for his career 784 steals, or 1.8 steals per game. For every single one of them we have risen from our seat in anticipation of the fast break (or gateaway as I prefer to call it) that will follow. So energized by his ability to get away with these crimes has he been, that in the 2008-2009 NBA season that number has risen to 1.9 steals per game. But he can be saved, he’s only 24 years old.

Unfortunately there are signs that it may already be too late. He has committed two other robberies that are both more offensively singularly than each of his 784 steals combined.

First he stole Michael Jordan’s number #23. A man that made the number so famous on occasion we called him buy it. Too be that good, to be that recognizable you have to refine that game. The only other player I know of that was that good and does not have his number retired in a league wide fashion was No. 4 in black and gold. Bobby Orr had revolutionized the game during his time, a single player that like Jordan was so dominate that the game was different when he left it. If LeBron is going to be the greatest ever I’d sure love to be able to debate it without confusing my 23’s. He wants to be the greatest, then cut your own path, where your own number, be your own man. I mean there is only 99 others to chose from.

The second offense is even more aggregious to me. Mean the guy has to wear a number and he stole Jordan’s #23. Alright I get there was only 99 others to choose from and you had to steal(pick) the one that belonged to MJ. (not saying I agree with it, or that it is right. It’s strike one in my book.) But then following that up by ripping Garnett’s chalk routine? I mean seriously King James (If that is your real name. Pretty sure that’s stolen too.) instead of realizing that KG has cornered the market on awesome chalk antics and you should just wipes off your hands and be on your way you had to rip that off too? Shame on Nike as well for supporting this thievery and promoting a commerical that sweeps years of Minnesota Timberwolves history under the rug like so chalk dust on an NBA court.

It’s three strikes and your out LBJ. What’s next are you going to tell Ben Wallace it’s ok to steal Dikembe Mutombo’s finger wave.

Do we need to see this scene on sports center?

“I didn’t even know someone else did that? LeBron told me he invented it special for me.” Said a distraught Wallace upon finding out Mutombo had been using the celebration for years.

Or maybe every time you make a game winning basket you can run out and pose at center court, arms out, head back like T.O. on the Dallas Star? Maybe you can steal the old Temu Selanne celebration by whipping your headband in the air and shooting it from the sky like a dying duck?

Please don’t LeBron, please I emlpore you to change your ways. Get on the straight and narrow while you still can. I’d hate to see such a promising young future ruined by a life of crime.

Best Wishes,
The Captain

It's OK, Boston Hates You Too!!

Is hate like gravity? Does it have a breakable chemical bond? Does it waft on the breeze like a pheromone we release and it simply causes others to hate us?



Up until the year 2000 it had been 14 summers and 14 winters since Boston had hoisted a world championship.



I mean the closest the Patriots had been in their history was being pancaked by the Bears at Super bowl XX when the Monster of the Midway dispatched of them 46-10.



The Bruins haven’t drunk from Lord Stanley’s Challis in over 30 years. The last time they did it, No. 4 was patrolling the blue line and changing how we see defensemen in the NHL (Mike Green, you’re welcome).



Celtics fans remember the Larry Bird years with fondness. They remember Larry Legend hoisting tresdown on Causeway to the delight of the Garden Faithful. Until Danny Ainge put together an All-Star team in 2007/08 the Celtics were nothing short of sad in the last decade.



And do I have to talk Red Sox? People are going to point to two titles in five years, although others will point to two titles in 91 seasons of play.



So I ask with all this futility—how is it the City of Boston has managed to get itself into the middle of the largest rivalries in professional sports? I understand the history of these teams does help, but seriously, let us look at the respective sports.

B/R Ticket Guide New York Yankees @ Toronto Blue Jays
on Wed, Feb 25 at 1:05PMTickets from
$14
Find TicketsTampa Bay Rays @ New York Yankees
on Thu, Feb 26 at 1:15PMTickets from
$22
Find TicketsNew York Yankees @ Minnesota Twins
on Fri, Feb 27 at 1:05PMTickets from
$32
Find TicketsPowered by FanSnap.com

The NHL, is there a better case of good old fashioned hate than the Bruins and the Canadiens? Here is a pair of franchises and fans who have hated each other with passion, long before it was cool.



I know people will put the Penguins vs Flyers, Montreal vs Toronto, Chicago vs Detroit, and Calgary vs Edmonton in this conversation. This makes me stop and ponder, how many dogs did the flying Frenchmen kick on their way to all those Stanley Cups?



But grab a Canadiens fan right now and ask them who they hate the most, and the Bruins will be a common theme. Much like with the Broadway Blue shirts come to town the Bruins faithful get out their hater-aide, but nothing compares to the disdain they feel for the Blue, Blanc, and Rouge.



Now I don’t remember Bill Russell, heck I barely remember Larry Bird. But what I do know is last year's NBA Finals managed to rekindle a flame that used to burn brighter than any in the NBA.



Yeah sure, Chicago doesn’t like Detroit (are we seeing a pattern here). Is there a better rivalry a more intense hate in the NBA than the Los Angeles Lakers vs. the Boston Celtics?



What about Red Sox vs Yankees? I mean the MLB has teams that play in the same city that don’t dislike each other as much as these two, and sure Cardinals vs Cubs is a battle I’d some day like to watch on a hot August night, but let's be real. Bucky *bleeping* Dent, Aaron *Explicative* Boone, The Bambino, The Missing Person Ad that is A-Rod as soon as he sees Red Sox pitching in October, these things don’t have a parallel in Major League Baseball.



I mean Brewers fans and Cubs fans don’t sit down to afternoon tea together, but there is nothing quite like Sox vs. Yankees



So I ask you, how is it that Boston is smack dab in the middle of this. It is quite possibly the only thing New York, Montreal, and LA have in common.



How's it possible that the fans of the most successful franchises of all time decided Bean town is public enemy No. 1? Yankees, 26-time world champions, 39 Pennants, Montreal Canadiens have hoisted the Holy Grail on 24 different occasions, and how about the Lakers, champions of the Basketball Universe 14 times who have made a total of 29 trips to the dance as both the Minnesota and Los Angeles Lakers.



But somehow some way, millions of faithful followers with 64 World titles to their name, and they aren’t satisfied until they beat the men from Revolution country.



If someone would like to explain it to me, I’d love to understand it. But just so you guys aren’t feeling left out, WE HATE YOU TOO!!!!

Michael Phelps....We Won't Get Fooled Again

Then I'll get on my knees and prayWe don't get fooled againDon't get fooled again- The Who

As George Bush so eloquently said, "There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."

So what does that have to do with Michael Phelps showing up on the internet with his suck hole planted firmly on the end of an orange THC delivery system?

Three letters—DUI.

On November 4, 2004 a then 19-year-old Michael Phelps was stopped for rolling through a stop sign and making an improper right hand turn.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Not a big deal, I’ve got a couple minor things on my driving record. Hey at 19, I wasn’t the most caution or alert driver either.

Fair enough, but when the officer approached the car that night he suspected something beyond your youthful mistakes. The officer had determined that Phelps had in fact been drinking.

A suspicion confirmed as the officer stated in court Phelps after a series of sobriety tests, "The defendant responded, 'I know I'm sorry. I was just scared because I have a lot to lose."

Maryland drinking laws require you to be 21 years of age to consume adult beverages—but Phelps was not only drinking, he was driving as well.

Wicomico County District Court Judge Lloyd O. Whitehead said after Phelps accepted and 18-month probation recommendation as part of a plea bargain, "We learn from our mistakes, and this was a mistake."
Defence attorney Steve Allen described Phelps as a "remarkably decent young man." "Michael knows he's a role model and he knows he made a mistake," said Allen, who said Phelps' arrest occurred during "a brief period of decompression after the Olympics."

But he followed that up with an Olympic performance for the ages. We raked the rock garden of our minds clean. We left not a single footprint in our collective conscious
in reference to what may or may not have been the case against a then 19-year-old professional athlete.

Now before I begin to write what looks like to be an indictment of Michael Phelps, I have no personal issue with him. He didn’t take that Range Rover he was driving that night and use it to take up two parking spots at the Mall around Christmas; he’s never visited my house and put the milk back empty.

We were awfully quick to forgive and forget in the case of young Michael Phelps. But now at 23 years old, with 16 Olympic Medals—14 of them gold—we are outraged at this display of youthful indiscretion. In December of 2008 he was one of Barbara Walters’s most interesting people of 2008, and had told the Today Show's Matt Lauer that 2004 was an "isolated incident" and that he had "definitely let myself down and my family down. I think I let a lot of people in the country down."

Then, after learning from the mistakes of this “isolated incident,” Phelps proceeded to admit to "behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment." In the form of taking a big fat haul off a piece of plastic that I am sure had been given a clever nickname of some sort.

Now in a sport where unlike baseball, or basketball or any other major sport for that matter, Phelps the swimmer doesn’t collect salary per say, his worth, his income is generated through endorsements. My interest lies in how does this impact his earning potential?

Will McDonalds, Wheaties, Nike and Speedo walk away from Michael Phelps? They certainly didn’t four years ago when a then-19-year-old Michael Phelps picked up an underaged DUI in what he himself said was an isolated incident.

Most people are all for the deconstruction of a hero. What they seem to so easily forget is that this strike number two. When Kobe Bryant committed a crime, it was so despicable that both McDonalds and Nutella walked away from Bryant afraid that we would no longer sell the image associated with him. But here we are in 2009, and Bryant is back pushing everything from Coca-Cola, Nike to Spalding.

I guess at the end of the day, I am more disappointed in fans than I am in athletes. Our two-faced ability to call someone a criminals and a cheat, a liar and scum bag is then promptly followed by us buying their jersey, their McDonalds breakfast sandwich, or a ticket to see them hit home run number 756.

We love to create heroes, simply so that we can later tare them apart for our amusement and to the delight of others. Whether it be because of performance enhancing drugs or young acts of indiscretion, we look for our chance to build superman, and then to step on his cape.

We do it all so just so that we can act surprised and indignant. When we see a 23-year old smoking some pot we act like Chicken Little and proclaim the sky is falling.

We are the problem as I see it, not Kobe Bryant, Barry Bonds, or Michael Phelps. The problem I as see it is we are so stupid that we want to get fooled again. That the average sports fan wants to believe enough that they can throw their palms to sky ever time a prominent figure makes a mistake.
Even though the Bush administration has left for Crawford it doesn’t mean those words from Tennessee or Texas—or where ever the heck they are from—ring any less true.

So you’ve got two options, sports fan—either except these guys are human and they are going to screw up. Or convince yourself they’re not and turn a blind eye to their stupidity.

Because right now the hyperbole with which you’re going after this Michael Phelps story—well, it’s simply looks like you getting fooled again.